Friday, two days from now, I will reach the halfway point of IOP. Five weeks down, five to go. Part of me can't wait for it to be over -- driving to Merrifield at rush hour is no fun at all, and certain aspects of Pat's method aren't exactly suited to me. Last night, for example, the topic was "Spirituality" (always in caps), how we define it, and Higher Power, and what it means to us and our recovery, etc. I had to be honest and say it meant very little to me, and that I was fine with that. Science, I said, is my Higher Power, and when a doctor tells me that if I go down this road again I won't come back, that means more to me than any sermon. Pat seems to appreciate my honesty on topics like this; still, it's a bit tiresome.
On the other hand, going to these meetings gives me something to do, and I must admit I have come to look forward to seeing people, regardless of the setting. I imagine I will eventually make it to the Monday-night SMART group, and even hit the Unity Club again for AA once IOP ends, just for something to do.
Tonight we were engaged in the de rigeur "awareness exercise" when a lightning storm struck. Whatever beneficial effects I may have gotten from it were instantly obliterated by the headache that lasted the rest of the night. I have mentioned my brain injury only sparingly in the group, since that's incidental to my presence there. Besides, I really don't like discussing it very much.
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